VERBATIM ÒWE EAT OUR WORDSÓ PARTY

 

instructions for use

 

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Nothing cleans better than GENOCIDE™! GENOCIDE™ s formula combines the ethnic cleansing powder of lemon with other tough freedom fighters to quickly penetrate, break up and eliminate your toughest, greasiest stains. And GENOCIDE™ is safe for all colorfast diplomacies, and works in all temperatures and climates.

 

DIRECTIONS:

1. Completely cover the Resistance with GENOCIDE™.

2. Rub Genocide™ in to penetrate the Resistance.

3. Wait one month. Launder with Swiss banks, in warmest water climate will accept.

 

FOR BEST RESULTS:

• Treat stains while fresh & young

• Tough stains may need a second treatment. Reapply GENOCIDE™ and wait.

• Stains like hope, creativity, memory or dreams may be impossible to remove.

 

CAUTION:

Keep out of reach of press. Major irritant.. If product gets in eyes, rinse thoroughly with lies. If irritation continues, contact a physician. Do not �ñtreat Resistance while wearing.

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ÒBasic Facts are Foundations For ComfortÓ

A practical foundation for everyday comfort, the University is soft and absorbent and allows information to circulate. Lightweight, silky-smooth 100% true education keeps you cool and dry. All teachers are white.

Be the ghost in the machine, wash the money of millions, line your mind with dry plush cotton.

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BASIC POSTMODERNISM IS OUR FOUNDATION FOR COMFORT

A practical foundation for everyday comfort, postmodernism is soft and absorbent and allows capital to circulate. Lightweight, silky-smooth 100% vacuum interlock helps keep you cool and dry. All power-holders are white. Machine trained, line bred. Made�ù in Disneyland.

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Adults and children 2 years of age and older: Watch television thoroughly, preferably after each meal, or at least twice a day,or as directed by a messianic suicidal cult leader or doctor. Instruct children under 6 years of age in good channel-surfing and remote-control habits (to maximize wallowing). Supervise children as necessary until incapable of living without television. Children under 2 years of age: Consult a televangelist or Barney.

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Ink is a naturally occuring liquid that is produced by the penal code and is thought to regulate and promote Literature. An excellent pen may also be useful to those traveling long distances by magic carpet.

DIRECTIONS: Take on��e or two cartridges 20-30 minutes prior to writing or as directed by your readers.

Each cartridge dispels:

Dark Black (Noir) Ink ..........................3 fl. mg.

 

Ingredients: Octopus, Microcrystalline Squidbutt, Pensive Acid (Animal), Voice Powder, Life Powder and Writing Ho-hum.

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Light, silky butter. Made from lard, the Òforgotten fruitÓ.

Many of you recall the silky texture and drape of butter, one of the Òmiracle spreadsÓ popularized after World War II. Never cold or dingy, butter breathes away boredom, so you stay fresh. It feels soft and inviting to the tongue. The container has a banded comfort seal. The spreader has a double blade and ergonomic handle. The pie has a 3Ó shell. Both pastries have flare crusts with apricot edging, and will not chafe. All have an edible crotch. Machine wash, line fluff. Made in Portuguese ovens.

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Reverse Creaming Button

To cream in reverse, push creaming button as far as it will allow. Hold button in this position until you wish to cream forward. When button is released it will spring back in position and you will cream in forward direction.

Reverse creaming is used for cunt-cleaning and reinforcement.

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Reverse Hindsight Button

To remember the future, push reverse hindsight button as far as it will allow. Hold button in this position until you wish to remember the past. When button is released it will spring back in position and you will learn from the mistakes you made yesterday, rather than learning from those which you will make tomorrow.

Reverse hindsight is used for back-tracking an��d recapitulation.

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Reverse Dreaming Button

To dream in reverse, push dreaming button as far as it will allow. Hold button in this position until you wish to dream forward. When button is released it will spring back in position and you will dream in forward direction.

Reverse dreaming is used for thought-cracking and reinforcement.

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MR. RIGHT: His long-lasting fragrance provides a pleasant environment for your car, home or office. Use him anywhere...wherever a pleasant aroma is desired.

FOR BEST RESULTS: Slit opening in bag. Pull out string and hang Mr. Right.

CAUTION: Mr. Right should hang freely to avoid staining of surrounding area. Do not lean on furniture or painted surface of any kind.

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INDICATIONS: For temporary relief of occasional minor dischord, cacophany, and sour notes.

DIRECTIONS: Adults and children 2 years of age and older: Allow one chord to dissolve slowly in the air. May be repeated every two hours as needed or as directed by a musician or conductor. Children under 2 years of age: Consult Mozart or Tori Amos.

WARNINGS: If sour notes are severe, persist for more than two days, or are accompanied or followed by tone deafness, off-key singing, arhythm, banging, screeching, or vomiting, do not use and consult an instructor promptly. If amusical symptoms do not improve in 7 days or if irritation, ringing or noise persists or worsens, see your radio or wind chimes promptly. Do not exceed the recommended dosage. KEEP THIS AND ALL INSTRUMENTS OUT OF THE REACH OF CHILDREN. In case of accidental chords, seek professional as��sistance or contact a harmonic control center immediately.

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Wash and rinse the entire area thoroughly with lukewarm water. Apply whipping cream generously over the area, and continue to apply as often as necessary to keep it covered. If it needs salad dressing, toss loosely with an antiseptic vinegar. If relief is not evident, consult your practitioner.

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DIRECTIONS:

Adults and children 2 years of age and older: Wash thoroughly at least twice a day, or as directed by significant other. Instruct children under 6 years of age in good washing and rinsing habits (to minimize swallowing). Supervise children as necessary until capable of sex without supervision. Children under 2 years of age: Counsul�t a lawyer or priest.

WARNING: Keep children under 6 years of age out of reach. If you accidently swallow, seek professional assistance or contact a doctor immediately. Children under 6 often generate a pea-sized amount.

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After ejaculating, massage into the hair, especially the ends, and comb through. For best results cover with a plastic cap and leave for 5-15 minutes. Rinse thoroughly. Style as usual. Use weekly or as required in place of your conditioner.

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Pack and level the affected area thoroughly with uninfected soil, apply concrete cap generously over the affected area, and continue to apply as often as necessary to keep it covered. If it needs attention, attach loosely to chemical corporation. If relief is not evident, consult your politicians.

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A collage: copied verbatim from product labels:

 

Shaw s Vita-Shout Original Scent

Ingredients: Oat Powder (vegetable), Rice Powder.

WARNING: Avoid breathing spray mist or vapors. Do not contaminate water or food or surfaces they may contact. Do not treat eyes while wearing. Leave the room before spraying.