Lists
July 14, 1999

Everybody thinks of a title for a list and writes it on a piece of paper. Then the papers are passed around the table, and each person adds a few items that belong on that list.
 
SANDWHICH:
standing room
ham
sidewalk shoulders
rock & frying pan & hard place & fire
elevator
Achilles
ears
wrap
burrito
falafel pita
eggroll
watercress
Philippe y Jorge
Wombat with a side of cole slaw
Lucky Pierre
thawed bread, mozarella, mustard, tomato, lettuce

MNEMONIC DEVICES:
Debt, Excise Tax, Bank, Tariff
LIFO: Last, In, First, Out
POSH: Port Over Starboard Home
My Very Educated Mother
Kings Play Chess On Fine Grain Sand
King Henry Died Of A Disease Called Malaria
The Family That Prays Together, Stays Together
I Like Ike
My Vampire Eats Muddy Jelly Sandwiches Under Nellie's Porch
Every Good Boy Does Fine
Fred Can Get Dates Almost Every Birthday (circle of fifths)
Few Cows Graze Down Around East Berkeley (circle of fifths)
Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally
Ape Zits Want 18th Century Trees
(Ate a sick one, ate a fried one)

REJECTED NAMES FOR THE NEW STAR WARS MOVIE:
A Pie in the Face
The Jar is Ajar
The Lark is in the Airlock
Where the Red Fern Grows
The Cantonese Furnace
The Canton Furnace
Canton Furnace
Wonton Famished
Mandarin Tennis
Manton Finnish
Mom-Tom Finish
The frappdidilious, quintifugal contrapalaption of Professor Qui-Gon Jinn
The Last Temptation of Maul
Little Orphan Ani-kin
Yoda Gets Some

PROBLEMS I USED TO HAVE:
Republican congressmen eating my vegetables
so-and-so
lived with rich beautiful popular girls
too hot
too cold
math problems
Ollie's conjunctivitis
stinky toe
lizard lip
a lisp
writing the letter "q" legibly
elbows in the face
style
grace
too much of this
too little of that
a bruise on my knee
an American teenager's problems

FIGHTING WORDS:
Thames
Rubbernecker
Oh yeah?
Pow!
Bam!
Bonk!
Bull-
Bloody Fascist!
Your mother's so. . .
Heineken
Zap!
Dinghy!
Turn left! Now!
Are too!

MEDIUM SIZED THINGS:
t-shirts
small elephants
Madam Blavatsky
moaning chandelier
Amy
Earth (planet)
lesser gods
Women's World Cup
Ulysses
Providence
The World Wide Web
Iran
I am not
lakes