Personal Ads
November 3, 1999
San Francisco
We wrote personals ads to recruit writers for v.e.r.b.a.t.i.m. Then, in some cases, we wrote responses. We plan to actually place the personals ads in the Bay Guardian.

To person of unknown gender who snuck out of the cafe during our pagan-writer's ritual of cactus scourging & sacrifice of small muttnesses of bypassers; we'd like for you to return our stack of Doris Day CDs at said cafe; next week, and we won't have to find you by other means. This is your only warning.

I don't know anything about your Doris Day records, okay? Now tell your men to stop following me and maybe I'll write with you again.

Missed Connections:

You were embarking on a journey to Richmond, 16th St Mission station; I, disembarking, brunette, pretty. Your glance, I thought, was in rhyming couplets.

 

Three's Company:

Jack Tripper with a dash of panache, seeking a Janet and Chrissy to play word games that lead to farcical situations involving sex, and a host o other topics. Supporting cast of a Mr. Furley, Larry, and others that might find a cool Mission Cafe their Regal Beagle, also needed.

Jack, I've always felt like Mrs. Roper, unsatisfied with the artistic offerings of my partners. I always thought it was an issue between him and I, between self and other. Perhaps the solution lies in self, other, and other. I would love to play games and be your nosy neighbor.


Male seeking Male:

Hot, young, hip body seeking same. Up for long term or a quick night of serious connecting. Into wrtng, wrds, hkng, teaÖ and more? Serious only.

Dear Male,

Iím serious. I swear. And I have great grammar.

 

Fantasy Fetish:

Experimental young professionals seek others for surreal, group-based games. Constraints welcome. Bring fountain pens; all "writing" strictly anonymous. Contact Brave Tim.

Greetings, Brave Tim!

I wanna be your dog. And your palimpsest. And your tabula rasa. Surrealism? Yeah, I like that guy with the droopy clocks. You bring the fountain pens; you can write it all over me. Send me more info and Iíll give you a photo. Iíll even tell you my name.

P.S. Ė Do you ever get into chocolate pudding?

 

Female Seeking Female:

Earth-centered collective seeking like-minded, creative woman for adventurous evenings in public places, playing creative games as well as cozy conversations in comfortable shoes.

Earth Girl Ė Iím the fire-goddess for you! I canít wait to meet you in adventurous places for comfortable conversations in cozy shoes. Call me and weíll play creatively.

 

SM/BD:

Domineering writers ISO pliant subjects for serious head games. We like making you eat your words verbatim, points of insertion, and all sorts of group play. You be: flexible, malleable, willing to submit to our constraints/restraints. Meet weekly for short but intense sessions.

Ready to be twisted by your words, subjugated by your intent, and to play by your rules.